Monday, August 29, 2011


I never thought i would look forward to Sunday's but I find myself counting down the days for when it is sunday. Sunday's we get to go and see our Angel Alexis as Scott and I have gotten back into church as well.. We haven't been able to stay to terribly long as I would like to yet since it's been so hot and Scott being sick, he can't be in the sun very long even when she is giving us a breeze.. We can't wait to finally get her headstone picked out and in the works so that way we can put some flowers out for her without them flying all over the place...
Sunday's also mark the days when Mackenzie gets all her measurements done and we get to see how much she has grown. She gets her weight checked every night but not her height or her head size.. It's also bath time which she loves when her head gets washed and after when you comb it.. Our little diva gained 10 more grams which means she is now 810 grams which equal 1 lbs 13 oz.. Which is really exciting considering they didnt start feeding her breastmilk again till yesterday so she has gained with just being on the iv fluid.. wahoo.. She also gained in length.. She is now 13 1/4 cm long. She is going to be tall like her daddy.. Also very excited because she got to come off 2 antibotics last night.. Although currently she is my little orange tinted diva. One of the meds she was on was orange like and so it made her tinkles orange, but now they noticed last night that it's also given her a orange tint so now we just wait for it to fade.. I told her i would take her in any color regardless, i didnt care, i just wanted to bring her home.
She had Dr. Yajick last night and i really think Alexis nudged me thru Dr. Yajick last night. Normally Mackenzie always drops in her levels when Dr. Yajick comes in (i dont know what it is but Mackenzie just drops all the time, i think she startles her but it's too cute) so I always give Dr. Yajick a hard time, but anyways, we got to talking and I was telling her how i was hoping they dont stop her feeds and I think she noticed that I'm not that optimistic anymore.. Right now it's really hard for me to continue to stay positive with just everything that has happened so I keep thinking bad news is just going to keep coming.. And i just had a really hard time before i got to the hospital again last night as the stress of being at 3 places at one time is really getting to me.. but she told me a story of how she had this one mother 20 years ago who thought everyday her child was going to pass, the child had lots of complications .. Everyday the mother thought that was the last day.. Finally Dr. Yajick told her, "you have to stay postive, that is what each child needs and when you stay and think postive, postive things are possible and will happen."... Needless to say, that child is 20 years old today..
I think Alexis nudged me and reminded me that although I have twin girls, they are still their own people. Alexis soul was very strong but her body was just not, but that doesn't mean it has to be the same or that I can keep thinking the same for Mackenzie... Mackenzie bear will be home soon and until then, we will just hang out in our home away from home...

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