Today believe it or not, which it took me a bit when i first woke this morning for it to actually hit.. but believe it or not, today marked the 1 year annivesary of when we got to bring our girls HOME.. It's been a full year that Mackenzie has been out of the nicu and Alexis's phyiscal memories close by for us to see everyday. When Alexis's gained her wings, the nurses put all of her things in a baby girl box for us and it stayed in the closet in Mackenzie's room. I didnt want to bring it home as for me it felt like i was only bringing one baby girl home when i needed to bring them both home at the same time. I really couldn't even bear to look to see what all was in it.. It was very hard.. I think i only went through it once or twice and it was close around Alexis's funeral and that was the only time I could watch her tribute video as well. I only had the strength to do so around Mackenzie.
Our first stop of course was for Mackenzie to visit her sister and then on to her real home.. We got home and Scott and I looked at each other in shock, amazement, saddness, scared all in what.. It was kind of like that "now what, omg" feeling.. We got Mackenzie all hooked up to her oxygen, pulse ox and apena monitor and then we just sat there. First night of sleep didnt really happen. We were so use to the nurses always being there and doing her every 3 hour feeds.. Now it was just us.
A year later and it's just us.. It's been amazing how far we have come.. Every day has brought a new challenge that pumpkin just surpassess and everyday i still look at her and cant believe she is ours.. We went from 7 doctors to 2 doctors, the only machine ever next to her that makes noises is her ipad. She is crawling all over the place. Instead of 2 oz bottles we are 8 oz bottles. Scott and I are still and probably will forever be figuring out how to be parents. We both sleep through the night for the most part.. Before it was the worry sleep, well after the first few days.. Then we became too dependant on the machines. We knew if something was wrong, one of them was going off.. She is eating table food now and also has teeth (which i found out by her biting me) We get to take her all over the place now instead of secluding/confining ourselves to the bedroom..She babbles all the time now.. ( i think she gets that from daddy.. heeheh) She has the fattest little thighs and she is wearing size 9 month clothes compared to preemie clothes.. The only thing connected to her similar to wire wise is her paci..She puts her hands up like she is telling you no, giggles at everything.. She is evening beginning to kind of wave like.. She pulls up at everything and i love it when she crawls up to my feet and pulls up and hangs on to my legs from there..
Today we went to see Dr. Moore, my ob, as we have not see him since my 6 week follow up after giving birth and he never got the chance to see the girls in the hospital as he wasn't there for the delievery but he's been with us from day one of trying to concieve so that as just a added bonus and the look on his face.. it was quite apparent of how far we have come and how happy he was to how far we have come and overcomed. To the year and the next 100 more to come..
Our Diva in just one year..