Tuesday, August 23, 2011


Today just a week ago Scott and I were holding sweet Alexis in her final breaths..It makes it so bittersweet as we still feel the pain of having to say goodbye, to get the report this morning before we came in (Scott always calls before we come as we normally dont make it till around lunch time so we have a morning check up from home and a night check up before bed) that our little Mackenzie has come off the ventilator. She is now on the cpap machine. (pretty much, she is breathing on her own but still with the help of the machine, but not as much as the ventilator)  We also got to hear her for the first time make her little cries out when the nurses and rt's started bothering her.. She sounded like a unhappy little duck but it brought such tears of joys to my eyes. As most mothers get to hear the miracle of life as soon as their babies are born, you hear that first cry, but for us, we never got to have that moment but today gave me just a smidget of what that moment would have felt like at delivery. Her RT today was Mrs. Becky which she so loves and adores. She knows when Mrs. Becky is in the room and Becky always does the cutest bows for her hair and rubs her head just the way she likes. I'm still learning but i still get so nervous. Becky said though that she is a loud little one.. hmm. wonder where she gets that one from. :0)
She has been doing so well on the cpap machines with the exception of when she decides she wants to pull it off.. She loves pulling out her iv's and all. We know though as she continues to have the PDA there is a chance she will go back on the ventilator which we totally understand but as long as she stays on the cpap we know she is just getting stronger and stronger to breathe on her own. Her feedings are still going well so hopefully that will put a little bit more weight on her. she is still at a low dose but we are just happy though that she is able to get the breastmilk. I've apparently taken over the top freezer here with all the stored up breastmilk Still no bowel movements but they said it could be a few more days as she just started back on feedings yesterday but she has been doing super great at peeing all over her bed.. They had to give her bigger diapers to help but it didn't so needless to say i'm excited to have my first set of dirty baby laundry. Never thought i wold be happy to do dirty baby laundry but now i get excited when i come in and see her "laundry bag" bag full because  they have had to keep chaning out her "bedding" cause she has made a mess. Still no word on her blood culture to make sure the yeast infection she has, has gotten into her blood, but that's ok because they said the longer we dont hear anything that is a good thing because then that means nothing is growing. She is still on her course of 3-4 antibototics but she should be coming off some of those by the end of the week.  My days have been running together so much, it's hard to know that it's only tuesday.
There are moments though where i feel so guilty to feel a little happy when Mackenzie has hit such a milestone as it was not but 3 days ago we were laying our other baby girl to rest. But i know that Alexis is hitting these milestones with her and how can we not be happy about that..

1 comment:

  1. that's wonderful news about mackenzie. our hearts are with her (and of course, you & scott) as she continues to get stronger. and how true your last sentence is. we are inspired by you & scott's strength thru this.