Tuesday, September 6, 2011

So now we wait..

Everyone knows that i'm not really a patience person so waiting for my little diva's to arrive seem like it took forever..Well now waiting for little Mackenzie to gain wait seems like i'm even on more pins and needle. We are glad to report that as of right now, Mackenzie is doing super great. She is now still on the nasal cannula, her iv fluids are getting reduced as her feedings are increasing. They say she should be on full feeds (which is nothing but breastmilk, no extra iv fluid or anything) within the next day or so. She does not have to get any more xrays right now or get pricked every day to check her blood gases. They said until she starts showing signs of distress then they are just going to let her be. She is no longer on any antibotics.
So as of right now, we just have to wait for her to keep gaining weight. That's our next step. so far so good as she now weighs in at 2 lbs and 3 oz. We need her to get to at least 4 lbs before they will consider taking her out of the "bubble" and putting her into a crib (it's just the same as a bubble, but it has no top) but in order to stay int he "crib" she will have to be able to maintain the proper body temp and she will have to master bottle feeding while maintaining her temp.
So keep praying and crossing your fingers that Mackenzie keeps progressing and nothing else arises as each day passes and it's one day closer to her coming home.

It was too funny today, that when Scott went in to change her pamper, she decided she wanted to have a blow out. And then as soon as daddy wiped, she decided she wasn't done..hehehe.. and she wasn't done about 4 other times.. So excited for more poop.. I'm telling you, daddy is poopy king as she has had a few blow outs today with daddy. We also go to kangaroo again today. We also found out that apparently we should be kangarooing for at least a hour as that is better for her. Scott and I have been switching so that both of us can do it but now we are going to do split shifts between morning and night so that way we can still both hold her and her get that comfort.. That was exciting to hear but the rocking chair in the rooms are not very comfortable though let me tell you, but i will bare any pain just to hold my little diva.
I also had my 6 week post partum check up today and I got the clear on everything. Doc said that everything is looking great and I'm healing really well. He knows as well as i know that I'm not emotionally healed but he brought me some peace as he told me it was ok, i'm grieving. He told me to grieve as long as i need to. He said that it's going to take a while.  It's not depression, its a sign of me grieving as well I should be considering all that i have gone through. He made me feel that it was more so grieving and not the depression. I dont know what to make of it. Ive never experienced either but whatever it is, it hurts. It hurts all the time even though I might not show how much it hurts,  I gotta keep going for Mackenzie. I guess as I wait for Mackenzie to gain weight, I wait also for the hurt to not hurt so much...

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