Tuesday, November 1, 2011

3 months and 3 days and all of bittersweet emotions..

It's been 3 months and 3 days since I got rolled into the doors at Baptist Hopsital and that is where I have spent every single day of every single hour that I have been able to. It's been my home, my safe haven, my security and now after 3 months and 3 days,  we finally get the official word that we are GOING TO GO HOME next week. Last night Dr. Bendeck came in and asked if we would felt comfortable enough to go home with Mackenzie on oxygen and I dont think I could say yes fast enough. Once he kind of broke that down for us he said that he was going to get the process started. He said that it would probably be early next week that we can finally go home.. 
So the process: Mackenzie will come home on oxygen and a monitor so Scott and I have to get trained on that. They have to get all her other doctors lined up and all the paperwork on that ready. She will have to get her RSV shot and we also gotta get setup to get that done everymonth, Scott and I have to stay there overnight to make sure we are capable of everything on our own.. Umm.. I think that about sums up the "process"..
Mackenzie is now at 4lbs 6.6 ozs. She is on 8 bottles at 40cc's so this will be interesteing when she comes home as she eats every 3 hours and Scott and I haven't done her 3 am or 12 am feedings ever.. She is taking hre bottles like a true champ. She is so her daddy's child. She had a hearing test yesterday and they say she passed that. Her eye exams are still once a week but cant' remember what i posted in last entry, but either way, her left eye is completely gone of ROP and her right eye is still at a stage 2 but they see more postive development so they really feel like now that she will not need treatment.. wahoo.. We will keep going to see Dr. Clark until they say we dont need to see him anymore. :0) She made it to the crib this past friday and she has been maintaing her body temp really well. We even got to put her in a bouncy seat as she has reflux really bad but it kind of stinks becuase the only place to put the seat is on the floor and there is a draft fromt eh windows so she starts to get cold down there so we try not to leave her too long. She is also on rice ceral to hopefully help with the reflux and to keep more of her food down. But really, she is half asian and she needed her rice at some point. :0)
We still can not get over that our girls turned 3 months old this past sunday.. It doesn't feel like but then again it does. When we leave the hospital, my car will probably still steer towards the hospital for a bit. I mean ive been there every single day for over 3 months and really and truly haven't gone anywhere else. As excited as i am to leave it i'm also sad. like i knew this day would come but now that's its here, it's hard to believe. It will be the start to our new beginning but also without our precious Alexis. We know she will still be with us but we walked through those NICU doors with both of them and physically we are only walking about with Mackenzie but in spirt and in our hearts we will be walking out with both of them. We have left Alexis's box of belongs still at the hospital and I plan to carry that out as we are also carrying out Mackenzie. She will be with us, just in a different way.
We are leaving so many friends that we have made along the way but we know that although we are leaving the NICU our friendships will remain the same. It will just be in a different setting now.
Scott and I really dont have the house prepare as much as we like but we are now down to crunch time. We did get her bassinet put up last night and I've accepted the fact that I wont have her "nursery" really done but i had to let go of that becuase as of righ tnow anyways, she wont really get to stay in it as she will now be in our room for a good bit so i still have time. We are buying piece by piece as we go.. Baby stuff is outrageous but worth all the cutenss and neccessatie. Scott and I realized last night that this will be our last weekend without a child in so I am going to finally give him date night and go to the movies and dinner.  Kind of sucks though that i have to learn all new stuff though. I was loving the milk warmer at the hosptial. Too bad i couldn't bring that thing home. :0)  At some point i will have to look into bottle again but right now I hope to  keep going on the ones she is using now. Its almost time for us to truly be mommy and daddy and this is one ride i'm ready to hop on and never get off.

But hang on to your stinking cute radar as these pictures are about to blow off the charts. (we got to play dress up for halloween)

She got to be daddys little Duke Blue Devil Cheerleader on Sunday

And of course our little pumpkin on Halloween..

VISITING ONCE WE ARE HOME: Please please know ahead of time.. SCOTT AND I WILL NOT BE ALLOWING ANY VISTORS FOR THE FIRST FEW WEEKS. She is still in a fragile state when she comes home and it being flu and rsv season we do not want any more germs in the house on what we cannot control. Please bear with us as in time everyone will get to meet her but we also need the time to adjust and get her adjusted and as strong as she can be and ready for all the people who are going to love her so very much. It's not that we dont want to see anyone but her health is and will always be our top priority.  Thanks for understanding.


  1. That is just awesome news! I can't wait to hear about your experiences at home. I know you will not want lots of people around but I hope that you have some family around that can help you out so that you can get enough rest. You will definitely miss all of the hospital staff help. Congrats!

  2. great news!!! we have a little something for you guys. i will have joe bring it to scott. :)

  3. I am so happy to hear that she's going to be coming home soon. How exciting!

  4. You will be surprised at how eager you will be to do the a.m. feedings, Its almost excitement!!! When my son came home from NICU, I couldn't sleep... I was so excited about him waking up for his midnight snacks. Good luck in these upcoming weeks, I know you will cherish every moment :)