Hard Copy...

Mackenzie is just growing and growing more and more each day. Scott and I just stare at her every minute we get and just can't help to beam with how far she has come. And boy is this diva such a daddy's girl. Lets see,, what all has transpired over the past week.

Scott and I went to our very first resturant with just us 3 on St.Patty's Day. It couldn't have been any perfect. You would think we have gone out all the time with how well Mackenzie did. We were there for like 2 hours. We went to this place called Travinia's in lexington, they have the best crab cake by far. And we had this super cool waiteress name Krista. She helped make our special night even more special. She was just funny, fun, sincere, and she just made the overall experience so much fun and enjoyable. I think pumpkin is going to do great out to eat as so far she has not had a meltdown or anything out.. she is more interested than anything.
While at dinner, we were talking to Krista and I was telling her our story and of course I started crying. Some days I can tell our story and I hold up ok, but majority of the time, there are always tears in my eyes. Its hard because everyone always asks us how old Mackenzie is and when i say she is 8 months, we get a strange look like what, really, and then it's like I feel like i have to tell the story to explain and then that's whem the light bulb goes off. But Scott said to me.. "baby if you can't tell the story without crying to strangers then maybe you shouldn 't tell them so it doesn't put them in a odd place".. I looked at him and thought he lost his mind. I told him, i could careless what people say, there will never be a day in my life or a single breath that i wont breathe that i will ever "deny" that I have two girls. Although I do not have one here phyically to show anyone, Alexis will always still be there with me  and if makes someone uncomfortable to see me cry then so be but I feel that i ever "deny" that I had Alexis then i think it will make me feel like she never existed and I never want that feeling.. She still continues to live inside Mackenzie and I truly believe she is the one that i picking me up when i keep falling..

Daddy and Pumpkin at our first dinner

Mackenzie had a doctors appt last wednesday with Dr. Cope. She currently weighed in at 10 lbs 14 oz. I really thought she would have hit 11 pounds by then but i'm pretty sure she has by now. We are excited to say that she also got to start rice ceral. So far so good on it. I tried to make it a little thicker and she didnt seem to take to that too well but she likes it pretty liquidly like and apparently i dont go fast enough for her as she screams when i take the spoon away from her or she grips it to not take it away. She is still teething but nothing has cut through yet.  She is now doing this thing with her tongue where she feels like she needs to stick it out all the time and just lick everything, even the air.. it's too funny as she will be laughing and doing it as well. She is still on the propranol every 8 hours. They want to leave that on her it for at least 2 months and then we will retest for another MRI. So far Dr. Cheeseman is impressed as to what he sees so far but he said he doesn't want her to come off of  it too early just because things are looking good doesn't mean the tumor is completely gone yet. We go see Dr. Williams (heart doc) this thursday and Dr. Chesseman next week so hopefully mackenzie will still continue to show good signs, until then she will just conttinue to be diva..

Pumpkin with her new shades.. Diva..

Daddy with his girls.. (3/25/12)

Diva I swear, "mommy i need one more mintute, I do not wish to be disturb."

I dont think i ever blogged this but for the longest time I've been wanting to print the first 6 months of my blog to have for Mackenzie to always know their story and friends told me about blog2print. Its where you can go there, type in your blog and it uploads it either by range of dates or the entire thing. I'm not ready for the whoele thing to be printed yet but I never want her to forget the first 6 months. Well i finally did it. It's taken me 2 months to debate it as it's been very painful to look back on it all. It just pour more salt on the wounds. Well needless to say, i ordered it last week and it came in yesterday. If you blog, blog2print is a must do. I knew what it was when i saw the box on the front door but it just looked like the elephant in the room ya know..I couldn't find myself to open it yet and i finally did a few hours later once Scott got home. It is perfect in so many ways. It was a very bittersweet moment as I was happy it was here but to relive all over i just crumbled. I wasn't able to go through it all yet just a few pages but I'm so glad that I did it and hopefully one day I will be able to sit with Alexis and read it to her. I'm waiting for that day although i know i'm not strong enough to do it now but until then it will sit in her curio cabinet until mommy is strong enough to tell her own story..

My "book"..