Mother's Day..

Thanks guys for the comments and love/support.. And no Jackie you heard right. 9 year old and 18 year old.. Shoot me a email if have free time and I will explain more.. (tlab99@yahoo.com) just put a subject so that I don't overlook it. I just prefer not to put it on here as for reasons I just choose to not put out there.. But just to clarify.. no they were not mine.. And yes, I seeked out therapy on my own. Although I have abundance amount of support from friends that I can reach out too, it was just different to reach out to someone who never met me, to tell my story, and to feel the clarity that it's ok, that i'm ok.. And for those of you who are hesitant with therapy, do know it's PEFECTLY ok to not like one.. There are tons out there so don't give up if you have a bad experience with one of them. I'm not going to the original one I started with but I picked up and found another one and so far so good.

So hard to believe I just celebrated my 2nd Mother's Day. It really felt like my first Mother's Day as for those who remember, Scott's Dad passed away the day before mother's day last year. So I never got my "first mothers day" or mothers day last year.. And I know I dont need a day to remind me of the Mother I am and the mother i will continue to be.. but I really dont think there is a single new first time mother out there that can really  deny their first mother day as the same as the rest of them.. At least for me.. although I knew I was a mother its just different because that first one marks the day when you start getting the "mommy day cards", the hand and footprint stuff without having to do it yourself, the breakfast in bed delivered by the kid(s). Its the start of the tradition that will go on for as long as the kids will have it ya know.
It was bittersweet this year as the date also symbolized the one year anniversary of us losing Mr. Barber.. The hussle and bussle of the days (my birthday was is two weeks prior to mothers day so he has double duty) leading up kept Scott busy so I don't think he actually thought about it till I brought it up..
The girls (a.k.a Scott) got me a frame that had Pumpkins hand print in it and the picture of her touching her shadow in the wall. I've been wanting to get that framed for quite some time and now it's in a frame with Pumpkins actual hand print.. I couldn't love it more.. It was a perfect gift for the occasion and all I wanted.. I love all the things that over time will display how much she is grown.. To see her little hands and feet from where she started.. I'll never get tired of that.. The day we just kind of spent hanging out... And be prepared to melt when you scroll down as we got pictures done as well for Mommy's day.. Pumpkin of course hates pictures but I guess considering I have about 1700 of them in my phone mainly of her I guess so.. heheeh.. but for the most part she did good.. Still cant' get that little stinker to wear a bow.. I guess I should be happy she wore a dress for me that day.. Its crazy to believe that she is already telling me what she will and will not wear.. when she doesn't like it, she will tug at it and do her little fake cry and pout and try to pull it over her head.. She is a diva i'm telling you.
We went and sat with Mr. Barber that evening.. We don't get to get out there much to see him as its a good 20-30 min drive from our house but we do at least about every other month.. It was very hard to believe that from the last time we saw him till mothers day which was really only about 2 months how many more headstones went up. We literally walked right past him because he was for a while towards the end of the row and now there are literally about 5-8 rows that have been added.  Still hard to believe he is gone but it's comforting to know that he is up there with Alexis giving her a grandpa while my dad is still here with us giving Pumpkin a grandpa on earth and boy is she coming into her own with grandpa.. (story about that one hopefully soon)

Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day!!!