In 24 hours..

Hey blogging friends.. it's 2:26 am and it's hard to sleep knowing at this time last year, i was laying in a hospital bed upside down trying to prevent me from going into labor.. Scott was freezing in the corner of the room as I layed hot from the leg compressor thinsg on my feet, and i guess it didnt help that he was right under the air and i was around the corner. (the vent was in a odd position) I had both of my girls nestled still in my stomach not knowing what all was to come 24 plus hours later..
It's been quite the year. Its hard not to have so much emotion as my girls turning 1 is jus tnot  any ordinary  turning 1.. having preemies to me and having one as a Angel above, to me it means soo much more.
I want to shower with such joy and excitement that Mackenzie has overcomed so many odds and has kicked butt over all the obstacles she has had, I want to sing at the top of my lungs all the joy she has brought into our lives and everyone else lives, I want to give all the people who have been by our sides and have done nothing but show us such support and has given us such a backbone at strength when we need it a hug.. I want the shady cloud of grey to wash from all this but in reality I know it wont. As we have so much to celebrate in 24 hours, it's hard to let go of the hurt that our Angel Alexis is not with us to do all of this. My tears are not just of happiness but they are still also of pain.We've all come so far and it's still really hard to get pass the fact that although we get to celebrate  life today at their party and tomorrow for their true birthday, in just 18 days, we have to relive and mourn the loss..
Today we are going to celebrate our girls life and of course you guys know I had to go big.. How could I not considering how big they came into this world and how big of impact that have made on so many lives. Scott laughs at me because yes, I even have a dj for the girls party tonight. With all my party decor, I not just going to celebrate Mackenzie today but we are going to celebrate our Angel Alexis today. Although she is not physicaly here with us I know she will always be looking down over us.
So heres to our girls.. You diva's mean the world to me and there is nothing i would never do for you guys (or I guess i will see what happens in the teenage years)... You girls are my world, my rock and my heart.. Happy Pre-Day Birthday!!!